What's in a name? A blog by any other name would still...post things on the internet...whatever.

I always have trouble with the titles.

Nathan here. Olivia is sound asleep right now from a long day of Dental Hygiene school and her first day at her new "dream job" at Barnes & Noble. She is very excited and as always hard working. This is not a report I am giving on my wife, however.

July 7th will mark my second year of marriage to Olivia Michele Haynie. As this day draws ever so near I am reminded of the day I first met her, how she made me laugh so much on our first date, (Laughter was an old, estranged friend to me then) and the way she smiled at me when no one was looking. I probably did my fare share of staring and looking stupid. She struck me with her beauty from the moment that I saw her. How grateful I am that I first noticed her before she noticed me with my jaw wide and my eyes dilated. Olivia claims she has no such abilities over the opposite sex. Should that be truth, then I am the embodiment of a lie.

Our courtship after our first date is a blur for me. Purchasing a plane ticket to visit her on Christmas day seemed a small sacrifice, though I had only known Olivia for maybe a month by this time. Stricken; again this word comes to mind when I think of the way I felt about her. All I knew is that it was extremely difficult to be away from her.

In contemplating why I would feel this way about Olivia; I take inventory of my own personal life at the time of meeting her. I was, in a word, lacking. My spirits had been down and depression was a semi-consistent friend of mine. I had lot's of girlfriends after returning from serving a mission. Searching for someone for me to be with was not going well. I am not the best decision maker for myself. Olivia and I were introduced through a mutual friend of ours. It truly had nothing to do with me and I didn't even want to go to the activity where Liv and I were to meet. Thank heaven for the gift of good friends.

I had lost a big part of myself during the mission in Madagascar. Experiences that I had there were both fantastic and terrible. It is with great regret that I did not understand better the words of Christ with regards to a mans life- "for whosoever loseth his life for my sake, shall find it." I did losing something during my time of service.

Diligent service in Madagascar required that I lose a bit of myself. A Large part of my spirit in fact was broken and I let myself forget about the pain it caused until I had returned home. Upon returning home, I was incomplete. Trying to find something to fill this void myself was similar to teaching a blind man how to drive a car. I was looking everywhere, and most of the time in all the wrong places. I had a sadness in me that few people understood. I sought relief from the Lord and I found that strength to endure was given, though the bandage for the wound was never supplied.

Looking back, I notice with greatfullness, that it was Olivia's innate ability to lift my sprits that I first fell top over bottom in love with. She can bear a witness to that fact even to this day, I simply cannot be sad when I am with her. It is unknown to me whether or not she has this exact affect on other people, or at least of the same potencey to which I am induced. The way she filled a piece of my damaged heart so easily and thoroughly...I swear it could be biological. Even when times are tough and we are both having a hard day, I cant get over the fact that she is simply there with me; and that makes me happy.

She is the answer to my questions of a troubled past.

She is the relief when I am feeling less than adequate.

She brought peace to my innermost calamity without even knowing it.

She is my everything.

Thank you Olivia.